Absolucky

Is it a deep. mysterious necklace with a lot of meaning and backstory? Or is it a design we just thought looked kinda cool? Yes. 

Commemorate your summer at Camp 98.7 with this mug we looted from the frozen campers. Includes 3 free stickers to stick on things you'll later regret.Design by: Courtney Brenek and @mosspuppie

Yes. we saw all your tweets about her. We hope you're happy. because she's certainly not - just look how angy she is.The Doll Plush comes with a removable eyepatch.Designed by: Dylanwildo and Courtney Brenek

You can now own your very own disappointing father figure in plush form!Khan Plush features a removable mustache and magnetic door remote (door not included).MaterialPP Cotton & Plush Fabric.Size10.5 x 8 x 6 inches (Height. Width. Depth)ShippingThis is on pre-order and is expected to...

This BIG Uzi Plush will help your anxiety disappear when you hug her... but run if you start to hear manic laughing.Design by Angelica Zhang @Ang_z8S.

Hit your fluid quotas and hydration KPIs. because the official JC Jenson Water Bottle is here to fulfil all of your water-based intake requirements.Designed by: Latticha L

Bless the well-made quality assured durability of JC Jenson! This pen even comes with free onboarding pamphlet to indoctrinate prepare you for a life of corporate servitude. How generous!Design by Matt Gaglione @mansizedmeatbls.DetailsInk Color: Black

Note: This product is on pre-order and is expected to begin shipping in late-July.With the JC Jenson Mug. you can feel like the KPIs and quarterly budgets are entering your body with every caffeinated sip.Comes with one double sided coaster featuring two different designs!Designed...

J has taken it upon herself to spread the holy gospel of JCJenson far and wide. Help her hit her KPIs by bringing this plush homeDesigned by: Latticha L and Angelica Zhang

Wear this hat and you become an official employee of JC Jenson! The employment package includes unexpected death. eldritch nightmares. and a free name badge!

With the J plush. the gang's all here! Recreate your favourite Disassembly Drone scenes. such as J yelling at N. J hitting N. or J threatening N's life and trying to end the planet (planet destroying force not included)!Design by Matt Gaglione @mansizedmeatbls.

Note: This product is on pre-order and is expected to ship in early-November."Get ready to feel super productive with these Pendantz at your side. These J pendants are built to make you work. I mean just look at them. They're just so small and...

Finally a hoodie for J! We sent it through the proper JC Jenson approval process to get it right. There was a lot of back and forth with upper management but then they kinda just stopped replying altogether.... we're gonna take that as approval!Designed...

J's not hanging around on company time. She's doing business. The business of making sure that you keep doing your business. And business is booming.Design by @cheerpuppy14.

Note: This product is on pre-order and is expected to begin shipping in late-September.Your favourite twintailed drone is here in statue form! If you put it on a high shelf. you can pretend J is constantly looking down and judging you. just like in...

J threatened us with a lot of unspeakable violence if she didn't get her own Animatez and well we refuse to live in fear.Product design by Matt Gaglione & Ana Mendes @zaphk. packaging design by Matt Gaglione and Mosspuppie.

Carry her everywhere so she can silently judge every social situation you walk into and find you slightly embarrassing... just like the real thing!Designed by Latticha L and Mosspuppie

If you get one of these pins. you can be just like Lizzy: popular. cool. and covered in metal.

Uzi's mom is built like a bag that you can wear in 2 ways! It also has a clear screen so you can display ALL your Murder Drones pins and OC fanart for the whole world to see!Design by: Courtney Brenek

We decided to put the old and present Nori in this plush duo so you can have double the mommy issues.Product comes with both drone and heart Nori. attachable via magnets.Designed by: Dylanwildo and Latticha L